NETFLIX AND CHILL!

Netflix and chill means exactly that – watching something on Netflix while relaxing, even though people might change their mind along the line but until then, it doesn’t equal consent to have sex like most young people try to make it out to be. If you want to have sex with someone make that clear. Attaching hidden meanings to words is exactly the kind of thing that unfortunately leads to rape and jail terms and no sensible human being wants any of that so cut out the shady slangs.

I don’t imagine any judge will look at all 6ft of me accused of rape and standing in the dock and say “go home young man, she did invite you for Netflix and chill after all”, I’m sure you can’t imagine it either so my dear get/give clear consent before proceeding with whatever form of sexual debauchery you want to engage in.

If somehow you are already smooching and kissing and he/she suggests/says he/she no longer wants to go all the way or you remember that she/he never even gave consent in the first place then you have to stop right there and confirm/get consent before proceeding. You may think stopping in the middle of everything to ask for consent is a mood killer but I reckon the thought of picking up the soap is an even bigger mood killer so do the right thing, amigo.

I’ve had people tell me things like “you should have persuaded me more”(try persuading me too),  ”you should have forced me, I like it rough” (I like rough too but it’s sexier when you shout “yes! Yes!! Yes!!!” all the way through it all), “I didn’t want to say yes and appear cheap”( if I gave a hoot about how cheap, expensive or hard to get you are then I probably won’t be having sex with you) or my personal favourite “I actually meant yes when I said no” (Oya, come and be going!).

It’s actually all quite simple, isn’t it? Asking a simple question or answering it when asked isn’t exactly like sending man to the moon for the first time, is it? You’re too shy to ask or answer? Maybe you shouldn’t be having sex in the first place! The question is too straight-forward? You’re either too young or too immature to be having sex. You’re not quite sure of the right words to use in a language you don’t really understand? Try a language you both/all understand perfectly well.

Carrying conji around never ruined anyone's life but having sex  with people without their consent has ruined and unfortunately continues to ruin people's lives on a daily basis. You're better than that.

"LAZY"

I think most people have a warped understanding of the word "Lazy". Most times what people call lazy is just genius in action. I feel lazy is a word invented by the many people who work other parts of their anatomy more than they do their brain to make themselves feel like they are better than the few who do the reverse.

‎I feel like most of the people labelled lazy are actually busy trying to think of easier ways to get things done. Think of all the people who made breakthrough inventions in their lifetime, most of them must have been labelled lazy before they made their big break(or even after). Think of the person who invented electric fans. Everybody busy fanning themselves in the heat and this person goes "sod this! I'm gonna build something that will fan me while I kick back and drink rum"(or whatever he was imbibing then)‎ even his closest friends and family must have thought "lazy twit, can't even move his wrists to fan himself".

How about the guy who put engines on bicycles and created motorcycles as a result? ‎Word on the streets is that the first 27 times she/he mentioned the idea to friends while riding a bicycle to wherever  they were going at the time she/he was told‎ to stop been lazy, man up and pedal on.

Don't even get me started on revolutions. "Hardworking" people picking acres of cotton fields while the "lazy" folks refused to pick sh!t and questioned why they were kidnapped and been forced to work. I bet you the first ones who revolted were derided even by their own brothers and sisters for been too lazy to work hard for their freedom‎.

I leave you with this great quote:‎ "Stop lazying around with those cables and box thingies. Run to the next village and deliver this letter to my bestie" Alexander Graham Bell's girlfriend just days before he invented the telephone. Reports that the content of the letter was "OMG! Girl, brows on fleek" remain unverified at the moment.‎ Just like the rest of the quotes used in this post.