NETFLIX AND CHILL!

Netflix and chill means exactly that – watching something on Netflix while relaxing, even though people might change their mind along the line but until then, it doesn’t equal consent to have sex like most young people try to make it out to be. If you want to have sex with someone make that clear. Attaching hidden meanings to words is exactly the kind of thing that unfortunately leads to rape and jail terms and no sensible human being wants any of that so cut out the shady slangs.

I don’t imagine any judge will look at all 6ft of me accused of rape and standing in the dock and say “go home young man, she did invite you for Netflix and chill after all”, I’m sure you can’t imagine it either so my dear get/give clear consent before proceeding with whatever form of sexual debauchery you want to engage in.

If somehow you are already smooching and kissing and he/she suggests/says he/she no longer wants to go all the way or you remember that she/he never even gave consent in the first place then you have to stop right there and confirm/get consent before proceeding. You may think stopping in the middle of everything to ask for consent is a mood killer but I reckon the thought of picking up the soap is an even bigger mood killer so do the right thing, amigo.

I’ve had people tell me things like “you should have persuaded me more”(try persuading me too),  ”you should have forced me, I like it rough” (I like rough too but it’s sexier when you shout “yes! Yes!! Yes!!!” all the way through it all), “I didn’t want to say yes and appear cheap”( if I gave a hoot about how cheap, expensive or hard to get you are then I probably won’t be having sex with you) or my personal favourite “I actually meant yes when I said no” (Oya, come and be going!).

It’s actually all quite simple, isn’t it? Asking a simple question or answering it when asked isn’t exactly like sending man to the moon for the first time, is it? You’re too shy to ask or answer? Maybe you shouldn’t be having sex in the first place! The question is too straight-forward? You’re either too young or too immature to be having sex. You’re not quite sure of the right words to use in a language you don’t really understand? Try a language you both/all understand perfectly well.

Carrying conji around never ruined anyone's life but having sex  with people without their consent has ruined and unfortunately continues to ruin people's lives on a daily basis. You're better than that.